service assistant.’Excuse me, I want a pet, but not just any pet, a really unusual pet’. The service assistant says I have just the thing for you, it’s a talking centipede’. ‘Cool!’ the man exclaims, ‘I’ll take it!’

The man takes the centipede home in his little box and places him on the kitchen table. He looks into the box and says: ‘Hey centipede, what about you and me going to the pub for a beer?’The centipede doesn’t answer, so the guy thinks, ‘I’ll just go off for five minutes and come back and ask

again. Five minutes pass and the guy returns to the centipede, ‘Hey centipede,how about you and me go to the pub for a beer?’ Again, the centipede doesn’t answer him. ‘Hmmmmm’ the guy thinks to himself, ‘I’ll just go off and watch this TV show, come back and ask him again’. Half an hour passes and the guy returns to the centipede. ‘I’ll just ask him one more time’ he tells himself. ‘Hey centipede, how about you and me go to the pub for a beer?’ The centipede looks up at the man and says, ‘Cmon man, I heard you the first time! I’m putting my boots on.

He asked for help and she could see why. With her pulling and him pushing, the boots still didn’t want to go on. When the second boot was on, she had worked up a sweat. She almost whimpered when the little boy said, “Teacher, they’re on the wrong feet.” She looked and sure enough, they were.

It wasn’t any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on, this time on the right feet. He then announced, “These aren’t my
boots.”

She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream,”Why didn’t you say so?” like she wanted to.

Once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off. He then said, “They’re my brother’s boots. My Mom made me wear them.”

She didn’t know if she should laugh or cry. She mustered up the grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his feet again. She said, “Now, where are your mittens?”

He said, “I stuffed them in the
toes of my boots…”